Shine bright like a diamond

I've only noticed, I write a lot moaaar and sometimes do things better when I'm stressed out. Ahh, I guess that's how engineers work, better under pressure. Well, that's how diamonds are made right? High pressure on carbon turning them into diamonds. Bling bling. *merepek mode*

For now, bertabah je lah wahai diri sendiri. Heu.

So see you next year?

It's funny how someone you've known for years could be a stranger in a blink of an eye.

It's funny how someone you only knew for a day still talks to you until today.

It's crazy how I used to keep myself distant from my family but now, I'm closer to them more than ever. We annoy each other, yet we still love each other.

So many things that happens in 2012. The happy, the bitter, the unpredictable, the I-Told-You-So. Penat kalau nak tulis semua kat sini.

I used to have a long list of azam tahun baru. No more this year, I say enough planning. Let's just let everything falls in place at their own pace.

Just need to keep reminding myself, Innallaha ma'ana :)

May the new year brings me closer to my family, makes me a stronger person when faced with a situation and well, more success! 

A big hug for madre nature!

‎"Earth is actually made already in equilibrium. But man sometimes have itchy hands, nothing to do. Go cut here, cut there. You disturb mother nature, then when the slope fail you get angry." 
-Dr Lee, Soil Mechanics, Geotechnical Engineering, Foundation subjects lecturer.

Dr Lee made me feel like I need to protect earth from these 'itchy hands'. If only I can hug earth and let her know everything is going to be okay someday. 

Soon to be engineers, let us all be innovative and smarter in future when doing something. Try to reduce whatever impact there is to the environment. After all, who's gonna save earth if not for us? Who needs Batman? We are all born to be superhero!

Something to remember.

Maksudnya: "Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang melainkan apa yang terdaya olehnya. Ia mendapat pahala dari kebajikan yang diusahakannya dan ia mendapat siksa dari kejahatan yang dikerjakannya. 

(Mereka berdoa) : Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami terlupa atau kami tersalah. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami bebanan yang berat sebagaimana yang telah Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu dari kami. 

Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang kami tidak terdaya memikulnya. Dan maafkanlah kesalahan kami, serta ampunkanlah dosa kami dan rahmatilah kami.

Engkaulah Penolong kami oleh itu bantulah kami mencapai kemenangan terhadap kaum-kaum yang kafir."

Run Forest run.

Charity Run for MAKNA.

Tomorrow's the running day. I'm not even sure why I joined in. Whether because I wanted to donate for MAKNA or because I wanted the free tshirt or simply because I wanted to run. I've never participated in any whatever sports event sort of thing before. My first run ever, and I started with 7.8km.

I like running but I'm not used to doing a long run. So yea, I am kinda nervous about it.
Risau pancit awal.

Have been contemplating whether I should be running, or jogging tomorrow. If I were to jog, I might as well bring the plastic camera and pretend like I am doing a little sight seeing throughout UNITEN. But if I were to run, a camera would be a hassle. Haha maybe no camera. Sight seeing can do later.

However it is, let's just hope that the amount of cheese and oily things I ate lately wouldn't drag me down and things would turn out okay for everyone. Just,

please
don't
pancit.

Hewhew.

Random Thought #9 : Mighty Lego People

Can I have a plastic lego heart?
In every possible color a mind could imagine
In every possible pattern a brain could fathom
Maybe yellow with a single white stripe
or rainbow colors all in one go

It'd be a pretty sight, if one could see it.

A plastic heart, fancy and durable
Unbreakable.

Try stepping on a piece of lego,
see how that feels.

Now that's the way to go.
That's what we want,
heavy duty people.

Combo.

Feeling sad? Go find your Maker.
Feeling tired? Go look for your Maker.
Feeling like a let down? Go meet your Maker.

Allah created us, complicated beings. So if you need fixing, only He would know how to fix you. Yes, physical illness is easy to be treated. Just find the doctor and he'll prescribe you a bunch of pills to make you all better. But how about spiritual sickness? The one related to the heart and mind. How do you fix a broken heart? Tell the surgeon to sew the pieces back together? No, it doesn't work that way.

Imagine your laptop crashed due to virus. Would you go to a barber to get it reformat and fixed? No? Same theory applies.


You have to find the right person to get yourself fixed.
In this case, your Maker.
In this case, Allah.


Find God, and He'll help fix you right.

xx


"I want to cry. Rant. Scream. Run. There's so much kept in this little heart, too much for me to handle. I want to talk to God, and cry. Cry my heart out."

Seven Nation Army

i'm gonna fight em off, a seven nation army couldn't hold me back

Doodle Challenge Number I Dont Know

Pipiyapongpong.

A cat in your room, and I'm to be blamed.

Can I have my own room? A small room is sufficient.
The lesser the furniture, the better.
Just a low bed, and a wardrobe.
No pull-bed, no tables.
I want nothing more nothing less.

Well maybe an additional book case, for my books.
Just that would be enough.

Chances of that to happen? Zilch.

Sharing room sucks. I've low tolerance towards bloody ice cold room. My sisters like switching on the aircond. 25-26degrees with the fan switched on as well, from night till morning. The air, the floor everything is freezing cold. Bloody hell one blanket is not enough. And I have to tolerate that for the next, I don't know, 3-6years.

Till then I'd have to wait until we move to Enstek. Itu pun kalau dapat bilik sendiri. If else, I'd have to wait until I get married. That, would mean sharing a room as well.

Blergh.

Pew pew.

It's almost 3am and I'm still up. Madre is gonna give me a good smacking spanking tomorrow fo sho. I'm just not sleepy yet, so am doing what I do best, lurking around on the internet finding listen-worthy kind of songs. I actually do have real work to do but..
Oh well.

I have my flipping flippers progress report 1 due by next Monday. AAAAAAAA *tarik rambut* Been procrastinating like foreverrr and I'm three hundred percent sure I'm going to regret doing so. Meet my FYP lecturer for the very first time today, that was super duper freaky man. Good thing Dr Chua was actually cool, BUTT, he told me, "You don't think it's FYP 1 you can relax-relax. Next semester you got IDP and FYP 2 at the same time and you'll be super occupied you're certainly going to regret procrastinating. Get most of the things done during FYP 1 so you won't be so busy during FYP 2. And another thing is you have to come see me because I won't be chasing after you guys."

Yes, obviously that feels like a knock on my head, the message goes straight to the heart. Malu weh dah almost half semester baru terhegeh-hegeh jumpa lecturer. I am an adult now, I shall act like one.
But I want candy. NO. I want gummy worms. eeek!

It feels like the weekend already. Hm. Will start doing work tomorrow.

Anyway, drank like a quarter carton of milk, just because I'm craving for something cold. And you can guess the only cold thing that was in the fridge, and drinkable as well would be, yea milk. Heck a lot, soon I'd be growing whiskers instead of a beard.

Now as an adult, I'd better go tuck myself in bed like.. NOW.

This is Chan,
signing off with my paw.

Miaw.

Stop This Train

See, once in a while when it's good, it'll feel like it should

And they're all still around and you're still safe and sound

And you don't miss a thing 'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark

Urburpandascape.

Contemplating on going to Urbanscapes. Feel like I'd be missing out so much if I don't. I mean, come on. There's Yuna and The Trees and The Wild and Narmi and Sigur Ros and The White Shoes and The Couple Company and The Impatient Sisters and aaa, need I say more? Plus somebody's selling two Weekend Passes at RM150 each. That's a bargain, I guess, since now Urbanscapes is selling their Pre-sale Weekend Passes at RM187.

Okay I'm gonna leave it at that. Much too lazy to put up other videos. But yeah;

FEEL THE AWESOMENESS OF THESE PEOPLE. 

Somebody take me there please. 

White lies.

Staring at the ceiling fan blankly.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.

Thinking.

I saw you few days back, at a camera shop.

When I thought I've thrown out every single thing that has you init. Probably somebody forgot to empty the Recycle Bin in my brain. I saw you, and it was as if every trash was restored back to it's folder.

And everything starts coming back to me.
Day 1 to 700 whatever day.

So now tell me, how do you expect me to not have all this rage.

Frankly, I'm tired. Tired of being angry. Tired of being sad. Tired of being unhappy.
I deserve to be happy.

Skyfall

This is the end

Hold your breath and count to ten

Feel the earth move and then

Hear my heart burst again.

Sabay!

Everyone has that something that they like to do the most. For me I don't really know what I like, I'm sorta indecisive(is that even the right word to describe me? hmm) but I do love art and craft and business whatever thingamajig. But of course you don't always get to do what you love the most for a living. If you do, then you are one lucky dude!

I have always complaint to my housemates how I loathe engineering, how it has never been an interest of mine etc etc. I told them after I'm done with engineering I'm gonna proceed doing a double degree, taking a course that is related to the things I would enjoy doing. And my housemates being all strictly parently-ish told me that I shouldn't be doing that. Of what I could recall from yesterday's conversation was ;

1. "Whose gonna pay the loan?"
2. "I thought you like environmental engineering?"
3. "You always komplen komplen itu susah ini susah. You haven't try your best yet you wanna complain some more."
4. "Try working first. Kalau rasa tak boleh pegi jauh, then you do a double degree laa. But seriously who's gonna pay the loanss ha?"
5. "Working as an engineer is not the same as studying to be an engineer. Who knows it might be a lot of fun during the working days later."

I highly doubt that, but everything they said got me thinking of a kinda clever saying. (Narcissist much? Heh heh. But seriously.)

"You wouldn't know you're good at something, unless you try doing your best. If you still suck at it, then most probably you're not good at it after all. But of course with much effort, sooner or later you'll be good at it anyway.

Point is, if you never try then you'll never know. "

Which again had me thinking, I am kinda lazy at studying which of course resulting in me getting pretty lousy grades. Today, for the first time evah, I studied hard for a Geotech test. (Well not so hard after all because I only started studying this morning and the exam was tonight at 8pm.) And I kinda like the feeling of it. Feeling a little bit clever than the usual. Haha. But seriously, I had a thought that I might actually enjoy doing this engineering course after all.

In the end, I decided that I'm gonna try giving my best shot for this civil-whatevertheclevershiznit-engineering thing.

(dah tahun akhir baru nak cakap gini? *facepalm*)

It's sokayy, it's soraiit, kamon baby fight fight fight! \o/


Foot note:
For those yang rasa macam pemalas sangat, amalkan baca doa ni (doa para nabi);

And an additional doa, untuk senang process ilmu dan dipermudahkan urusan (Surah Taha ayat 25-28);

Shelf life.

I miss reading. Have stopped reading for quite some time. 

I've finished off Hector and The Search of Happiness quite a long time ago. I've gone through 1/5 of Hector and the Secrets of Love. Never opened Hector and The Search of Lost Time.

1. Abah bought the first book for me. It was quite interesting. I was quite intrigued by the notes written about happiness, I read half of the book right after Abah paid for it. Finished reading some time after.

2. Most hours of internship days was spent either working(yeah right) or on the road. I took public transport to work and back home, hopping from train to bus, bus to train on a daily basis. So I took the opportunity to read the second book. Unfortunately, not long after, I bought a PSP. Stopped reading that book, ever since.

3. The third book, bought during the last few days of 1 Malaysia Book Voucher. Did not want the coupon to go to waste, so I chose a few books off the shelves in MPH along with a few stationery. I bought the third book because I thought since I already have 2 books of that series, why not bought the third one right? Still doesn't have a clue about the content of the book.

Somehow along the way I seem to have lost interest in reading Hector's book series. To have a mini library sounds like an awful lot of fun, but to let good books get all dusty up on the shelf would be such a waste. So I just might sell off all of these series.

Goodbye Mr Francois.

Dreamer

Start.

I've had a number of dream occupations throughout my 21 years of life. Here's the list, chronologically speaking.

1. Fire fighter.
Reason: Well who would say no to saving the world in a freaking orange uniform? Not me!
What happened: Fire fighting seems like a tough job for a small person. My heart is big but my figure is stick thin, small. Hopeless. haha

2. Singer.
Reason: I used to want to be like Siti Nurhaliza. Okay don't give me the weird look. I put the word used to. I was like 5 or something at that time plus she was a hit during my childhood days ok. So it's quite common for girls to actually idolize her.
What happened: as I grow up my taste in music diversify and I am no longer a fan of her. heh heh pluss, singing for a living? of course a no. such a funny cita-cita. I'm glad this dream was shortly lived.

3. Gynaecologist. 
Reason: I'm not sure why. Maybe because the word gynaecologist itself. I was a kid, and the word seems pretty weird, exciting and interesting. I looked it up in the dictionary, turns out to be a woman doctor specialist. So I thought maybe that is not such a bad dream job after all.
What happened: My fear of needle is the thing that crushed my fantasy of playing doctor. I can't imagine poking other people with needles, I'd be the first to faint. And so, I don't see myself fit to be a doctor.

4. Cook.
Reason: My mum's such an amazing cook, so is my two older sisters. They are the reason why I wanted to cook yummy food for everyone. I used to play masak-masak by myself. Playing with uncooked rice, imagining it as something else and pretending to cook awesome food. That was so much fun.
What happened: I am such a terrible cook. Plus I have a history of burning the kettle and wok. *facepalm*


5. Interior Designer.
Reason: I used to think interior designing is all about perfect positioning of furniture, wall color that'd match the theme, that sort of things. The feeling is like, the grownup version of the game rumah-rumah that we used to play when we were kids. How much fun is that kan, playing susun-susun furniture see where it fits.
What happened: Nothing happened, I just don't think my parents would approve of such thing. They'd be like.. "What kind of occupation is that dude? It's not even a real job!"

6. Writer.
Reason: Simply because I like writing, regardless the crappiness of my written stuff. I seem to be scoring a lot more on literature subjects compared to science related subjects. So I was a little bit more convinced I can be a good writer. I once tried writing a story, but I only managed to write up to 3 or 4 pages.
What happened: I've always wanted to be a random kind of writer, writing weirdly and stuff but well I lack creative juices so I end up sounding pretty repetitive and boring. plus my parents aren't too fond with the idea of having a daughter who writes for a living. So, reject.

7. Ice Cream Connoisseur
Reason: My mom bought me an ice cream book that is as thick as my Calculus text book. The ice cream looks so tempting and yummy, so I thought why not become an ice cream connoisseur? To come up with your own recipe, and make super delicious ice cream that literally puts a smile on every face of the person who ate my creation. That feeling would be divine.
What happened: I failed at making the basic vanilla ice cream. It always ends up as a failure, instead of ice cream I get egg cream, egg smelling ice cream. icky, I shall not waste another shilling to buy vanilla bean and pay for the electric wasted from the usage of ice cream maker and freezer.

8. Archaeologist. (or anything related to history or old stuff)
Reason: Well history can be pretty boring at times, but I like artifacts and museums that sort of stuff. Travelling from one place to another, finding traces of history seems like a pretty awesome thing to do. (Relic Hunter series is also one of the reason why I like this kinda thing. hehe)
What happened: my sister told me this, "Ha suka la benda-benda lama. Entah-entah ada hantu" heh. but well to be honest that is kinda scary. Nevertheless, I still think this would be one of the most interesting job evaaah.

9. Entrepreneur.
Reason: Bak kata nabi Muhammad saw, berniaga ni 1/10 dari punca rezeki. I like money, I mean who doesn't. When you find something you like, it doesn't feel so much like a job to you. What triggers the so-called 'business senses' in me was Kulkith shoes. I fancy them as much as my friends so I thought, why not sell them? I can wear them, my friends can wear them, everybody wins.
What happened: I currently am doing it as a temporary thing, selling shoes. My friends think it's a big risk, this whole business thing. My dad thinks I shouldn't be doing it because it would distract me from my studies. Well he was right, so I might stop this whole thing for a while. Mom said I can continue doing it a part time job, after I finish with studies.

10. Environmentalist.
Reason: It's like being a superhero, but realistically speaking. You save the environment, you save the world.
What happened: I wish I can do something that could give a big impact to the environment, like create a machine that would release a gas that could neutralize the harmful gas released by cars and factories. Or save the tuna fish and dolphins population from going extinct. Stuff like that. But I am not capable of such thing. Despite my incapability to do all that, I do small things, like forbidding people around me from littering, I tighten the tap when I see it being improperly closed and leaked, and switching off the plug when not using it. These things might look like nothing but well at least I'm doing something right?

There are a lot more, but I can't remember. So yea that's pretty much it. Go through the list again. See there's no Engineer in that list? Seriously speaking, I never wanted to be an engineer. I got the worst grade for Physics in SPM, I actually did better for Biology and Chemistry subjects yet my dad thinks it's a pretty brilliant idea to enrol me into engineering course. And so, that was the story behind how I end up doing that. Fulfilling my duty as a daughter to obey my parents and make them happy.

I've been doing some thinking lately, and I'm considering on continuing my studies after I finish with the current one. I think I wanna do the archaeology thingy. Totally unrelated to engineering.  I'm sure my dad's gonna go ballistic, flipping tables when he hears about this. haha. I have no intentions of telling him anytime soon.

Anyway this has been a long entry.

End.

Doodle Challenge : Day 7

When there's no class, I got no time to doodle

When there's class, I have all the time in the world to doodle

What is this madness?

Doodle Challenge : Day 6

"Yea. I'm the dinosaur who has cicakophobia."

So they say, you should not be a slave to your fear. So I decided to wipe off the cicak on my car windshield using the wipers. Yikes!