So see you next year?

It's funny how someone you've known for years could be a stranger in a blink of an eye.

It's funny how someone you only knew for a day still talks to you until today.

It's crazy how I used to keep myself distant from my family but now, I'm closer to them more than ever. We annoy each other, yet we still love each other.

So many things that happens in 2012. The happy, the bitter, the unpredictable, the I-Told-You-So. Penat kalau nak tulis semua kat sini.

I used to have a long list of azam tahun baru. No more this year, I say enough planning. Let's just let everything falls in place at their own pace.

Just need to keep reminding myself, Innallaha ma'ana :)

May the new year brings me closer to my family, makes me a stronger person when faced with a situation and well, more success! 

A big hug for madre nature!

‎"Earth is actually made already in equilibrium. But man sometimes have itchy hands, nothing to do. Go cut here, cut there. You disturb mother nature, then when the slope fail you get angry." 
-Dr Lee, Soil Mechanics, Geotechnical Engineering, Foundation subjects lecturer.

Dr Lee made me feel like I need to protect earth from these 'itchy hands'. If only I can hug earth and let her know everything is going to be okay someday. 

Soon to be engineers, let us all be innovative and smarter in future when doing something. Try to reduce whatever impact there is to the environment. After all, who's gonna save earth if not for us? Who needs Batman? We are all born to be superhero!

Something to remember.

Maksudnya: "Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang melainkan apa yang terdaya olehnya. Ia mendapat pahala dari kebajikan yang diusahakannya dan ia mendapat siksa dari kejahatan yang dikerjakannya. 

(Mereka berdoa) : Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami terlupa atau kami tersalah. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami bebanan yang berat sebagaimana yang telah Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu dari kami. 

Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang kami tidak terdaya memikulnya. Dan maafkanlah kesalahan kami, serta ampunkanlah dosa kami dan rahmatilah kami.

Engkaulah Penolong kami oleh itu bantulah kami mencapai kemenangan terhadap kaum-kaum yang kafir."

Run Forest run.

Charity Run for MAKNA.

Tomorrow's the running day. I'm not even sure why I joined in. Whether because I wanted to donate for MAKNA or because I wanted the free tshirt or simply because I wanted to run. I've never participated in any whatever sports event sort of thing before. My first run ever, and I started with 7.8km.

I like running but I'm not used to doing a long run. So yea, I am kinda nervous about it.
Risau pancit awal.

Have been contemplating whether I should be running, or jogging tomorrow. If I were to jog, I might as well bring the plastic camera and pretend like I am doing a little sight seeing throughout UNITEN. But if I were to run, a camera would be a hassle. Haha maybe no camera. Sight seeing can do later.

However it is, let's just hope that the amount of cheese and oily things I ate lately wouldn't drag me down and things would turn out okay for everyone. Just,

please
don't
pancit.

Hewhew.

Random Thought #9 : Mighty Lego People

Can I have a plastic lego heart?
In every possible color a mind could imagine
In every possible pattern a brain could fathom
Maybe yellow with a single white stripe
or rainbow colors all in one go

It'd be a pretty sight, if one could see it.

A plastic heart, fancy and durable
Unbreakable.

Try stepping on a piece of lego,
see how that feels.

Now that's the way to go.
That's what we want,
heavy duty people.

Combo.

Feeling sad? Go find your Maker.
Feeling tired? Go look for your Maker.
Feeling like a let down? Go meet your Maker.

Allah created us, complicated beings. So if you need fixing, only He would know how to fix you. Yes, physical illness is easy to be treated. Just find the doctor and he'll prescribe you a bunch of pills to make you all better. But how about spiritual sickness? The one related to the heart and mind. How do you fix a broken heart? Tell the surgeon to sew the pieces back together? No, it doesn't work that way.

Imagine your laptop crashed due to virus. Would you go to a barber to get it reformat and fixed? No? Same theory applies.


You have to find the right person to get yourself fixed.
In this case, your Maker.
In this case, Allah.


Find God, and He'll help fix you right.

xx


"I want to cry. Rant. Scream. Run. There's so much kept in this little heart, too much for me to handle. I want to talk to God, and cry. Cry my heart out."

Seven Nation Army

i'm gonna fight em off, a seven nation army couldn't hold me back

Doodle Challenge Number I Dont Know

Pipiyapongpong.

A cat in your room, and I'm to be blamed.

Can I have my own room? A small room is sufficient.
The lesser the furniture, the better.
Just a low bed, and a wardrobe.
No pull-bed, no tables.
I want nothing more nothing less.

Well maybe an additional book case, for my books.
Just that would be enough.

Chances of that to happen? Zilch.

Sharing room sucks. I've low tolerance towards bloody ice cold room. My sisters like switching on the aircond. 25-26degrees with the fan switched on as well, from night till morning. The air, the floor everything is freezing cold. Bloody hell one blanket is not enough. And I have to tolerate that for the next, I don't know, 3-6years.

Till then I'd have to wait until we move to Enstek. Itu pun kalau dapat bilik sendiri. If else, I'd have to wait until I get married. That, would mean sharing a room as well.

Blergh.

Pew pew.

It's almost 3am and I'm still up. Madre is gonna give me a good smacking spanking tomorrow fo sho. I'm just not sleepy yet, so am doing what I do best, lurking around on the internet finding listen-worthy kind of songs. I actually do have real work to do but..
Oh well.

I have my flipping flippers progress report 1 due by next Monday. AAAAAAAA *tarik rambut* Been procrastinating like foreverrr and I'm three hundred percent sure I'm going to regret doing so. Meet my FYP lecturer for the very first time today, that was super duper freaky man. Good thing Dr Chua was actually cool, BUTT, he told me, "You don't think it's FYP 1 you can relax-relax. Next semester you got IDP and FYP 2 at the same time and you'll be super occupied you're certainly going to regret procrastinating. Get most of the things done during FYP 1 so you won't be so busy during FYP 2. And another thing is you have to come see me because I won't be chasing after you guys."

Yes, obviously that feels like a knock on my head, the message goes straight to the heart. Malu weh dah almost half semester baru terhegeh-hegeh jumpa lecturer. I am an adult now, I shall act like one.
But I want candy. NO. I want gummy worms. eeek!

It feels like the weekend already. Hm. Will start doing work tomorrow.

Anyway, drank like a quarter carton of milk, just because I'm craving for something cold. And you can guess the only cold thing that was in the fridge, and drinkable as well would be, yea milk. Heck a lot, soon I'd be growing whiskers instead of a beard.

Now as an adult, I'd better go tuck myself in bed like.. NOW.

This is Chan,
signing off with my paw.

Miaw.

Stop This Train

See, once in a while when it's good, it'll feel like it should

And they're all still around and you're still safe and sound

And you don't miss a thing 'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark

Urburpandascape.

Contemplating on going to Urbanscapes. Feel like I'd be missing out so much if I don't. I mean, come on. There's Yuna and The Trees and The Wild and Narmi and Sigur Ros and The White Shoes and The Couple Company and The Impatient Sisters and aaa, need I say more? Plus somebody's selling two Weekend Passes at RM150 each. That's a bargain, I guess, since now Urbanscapes is selling their Pre-sale Weekend Passes at RM187.

Okay I'm gonna leave it at that. Much too lazy to put up other videos. But yeah;

FEEL THE AWESOMENESS OF THESE PEOPLE. 

Somebody take me there please. 

White lies.

Staring at the ceiling fan blankly.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.

Thinking.

I saw you few days back, at a camera shop.

When I thought I've thrown out every single thing that has you init. Probably somebody forgot to empty the Recycle Bin in my brain. I saw you, and it was as if every trash was restored back to it's folder.

And everything starts coming back to me.
Day 1 to 700 whatever day.

So now tell me, how do you expect me to not have all this rage.

Frankly, I'm tired. Tired of being angry. Tired of being sad. Tired of being unhappy.
I deserve to be happy.

Skyfall

This is the end

Hold your breath and count to ten

Feel the earth move and then

Hear my heart burst again.

Sabay!

Everyone has that something that they like to do the most. For me I don't really know what I like, I'm sorta indecisive(is that even the right word to describe me? hmm) but I do love art and craft and business whatever thingamajig. But of course you don't always get to do what you love the most for a living. If you do, then you are one lucky dude!

I have always complaint to my housemates how I loathe engineering, how it has never been an interest of mine etc etc. I told them after I'm done with engineering I'm gonna proceed doing a double degree, taking a course that is related to the things I would enjoy doing. And my housemates being all strictly parently-ish told me that I shouldn't be doing that. Of what I could recall from yesterday's conversation was ;

1. "Whose gonna pay the loan?"
2. "I thought you like environmental engineering?"
3. "You always komplen komplen itu susah ini susah. You haven't try your best yet you wanna complain some more."
4. "Try working first. Kalau rasa tak boleh pegi jauh, then you do a double degree laa. But seriously who's gonna pay the loanss ha?"
5. "Working as an engineer is not the same as studying to be an engineer. Who knows it might be a lot of fun during the working days later."

I highly doubt that, but everything they said got me thinking of a kinda clever saying. (Narcissist much? Heh heh. But seriously.)

"You wouldn't know you're good at something, unless you try doing your best. If you still suck at it, then most probably you're not good at it after all. But of course with much effort, sooner or later you'll be good at it anyway.

Point is, if you never try then you'll never know. "

Which again had me thinking, I am kinda lazy at studying which of course resulting in me getting pretty lousy grades. Today, for the first time evah, I studied hard for a Geotech test. (Well not so hard after all because I only started studying this morning and the exam was tonight at 8pm.) And I kinda like the feeling of it. Feeling a little bit clever than the usual. Haha. But seriously, I had a thought that I might actually enjoy doing this engineering course after all.

In the end, I decided that I'm gonna try giving my best shot for this civil-whatevertheclevershiznit-engineering thing.

(dah tahun akhir baru nak cakap gini? *facepalm*)

It's sokayy, it's soraiit, kamon baby fight fight fight! \o/


Foot note:
For those yang rasa macam pemalas sangat, amalkan baca doa ni (doa para nabi);

And an additional doa, untuk senang process ilmu dan dipermudahkan urusan (Surah Taha ayat 25-28);

Shelf life.

I miss reading. Have stopped reading for quite some time. 

I've finished off Hector and The Search of Happiness quite a long time ago. I've gone through 1/5 of Hector and the Secrets of Love. Never opened Hector and The Search of Lost Time.

1. Abah bought the first book for me. It was quite interesting. I was quite intrigued by the notes written about happiness, I read half of the book right after Abah paid for it. Finished reading some time after.

2. Most hours of internship days was spent either working(yeah right) or on the road. I took public transport to work and back home, hopping from train to bus, bus to train on a daily basis. So I took the opportunity to read the second book. Unfortunately, not long after, I bought a PSP. Stopped reading that book, ever since.

3. The third book, bought during the last few days of 1 Malaysia Book Voucher. Did not want the coupon to go to waste, so I chose a few books off the shelves in MPH along with a few stationery. I bought the third book because I thought since I already have 2 books of that series, why not bought the third one right? Still doesn't have a clue about the content of the book.

Somehow along the way I seem to have lost interest in reading Hector's book series. To have a mini library sounds like an awful lot of fun, but to let good books get all dusty up on the shelf would be such a waste. So I just might sell off all of these series.

Goodbye Mr Francois.

Dreamer

Start.

I've had a number of dream occupations throughout my 21 years of life. Here's the list, chronologically speaking.

1. Fire fighter.
Reason: Well who would say no to saving the world in a freaking orange uniform? Not me!
What happened: Fire fighting seems like a tough job for a small person. My heart is big but my figure is stick thin, small. Hopeless. haha

2. Singer.
Reason: I used to want to be like Siti Nurhaliza. Okay don't give me the weird look. I put the word used to. I was like 5 or something at that time plus she was a hit during my childhood days ok. So it's quite common for girls to actually idolize her.
What happened: as I grow up my taste in music diversify and I am no longer a fan of her. heh heh pluss, singing for a living? of course a no. such a funny cita-cita. I'm glad this dream was shortly lived.

3. Gynaecologist. 
Reason: I'm not sure why. Maybe because the word gynaecologist itself. I was a kid, and the word seems pretty weird, exciting and interesting. I looked it up in the dictionary, turns out to be a woman doctor specialist. So I thought maybe that is not such a bad dream job after all.
What happened: My fear of needle is the thing that crushed my fantasy of playing doctor. I can't imagine poking other people with needles, I'd be the first to faint. And so, I don't see myself fit to be a doctor.

4. Cook.
Reason: My mum's such an amazing cook, so is my two older sisters. They are the reason why I wanted to cook yummy food for everyone. I used to play masak-masak by myself. Playing with uncooked rice, imagining it as something else and pretending to cook awesome food. That was so much fun.
What happened: I am such a terrible cook. Plus I have a history of burning the kettle and wok. *facepalm*


5. Interior Designer.
Reason: I used to think interior designing is all about perfect positioning of furniture, wall color that'd match the theme, that sort of things. The feeling is like, the grownup version of the game rumah-rumah that we used to play when we were kids. How much fun is that kan, playing susun-susun furniture see where it fits.
What happened: Nothing happened, I just don't think my parents would approve of such thing. They'd be like.. "What kind of occupation is that dude? It's not even a real job!"

6. Writer.
Reason: Simply because I like writing, regardless the crappiness of my written stuff. I seem to be scoring a lot more on literature subjects compared to science related subjects. So I was a little bit more convinced I can be a good writer. I once tried writing a story, but I only managed to write up to 3 or 4 pages.
What happened: I've always wanted to be a random kind of writer, writing weirdly and stuff but well I lack creative juices so I end up sounding pretty repetitive and boring. plus my parents aren't too fond with the idea of having a daughter who writes for a living. So, reject.

7. Ice Cream Connoisseur
Reason: My mom bought me an ice cream book that is as thick as my Calculus text book. The ice cream looks so tempting and yummy, so I thought why not become an ice cream connoisseur? To come up with your own recipe, and make super delicious ice cream that literally puts a smile on every face of the person who ate my creation. That feeling would be divine.
What happened: I failed at making the basic vanilla ice cream. It always ends up as a failure, instead of ice cream I get egg cream, egg smelling ice cream. icky, I shall not waste another shilling to buy vanilla bean and pay for the electric wasted from the usage of ice cream maker and freezer.

8. Archaeologist. (or anything related to history or old stuff)
Reason: Well history can be pretty boring at times, but I like artifacts and museums that sort of stuff. Travelling from one place to another, finding traces of history seems like a pretty awesome thing to do. (Relic Hunter series is also one of the reason why I like this kinda thing. hehe)
What happened: my sister told me this, "Ha suka la benda-benda lama. Entah-entah ada hantu" heh. but well to be honest that is kinda scary. Nevertheless, I still think this would be one of the most interesting job evaaah.

9. Entrepreneur.
Reason: Bak kata nabi Muhammad saw, berniaga ni 1/10 dari punca rezeki. I like money, I mean who doesn't. When you find something you like, it doesn't feel so much like a job to you. What triggers the so-called 'business senses' in me was Kulkith shoes. I fancy them as much as my friends so I thought, why not sell them? I can wear them, my friends can wear them, everybody wins.
What happened: I currently am doing it as a temporary thing, selling shoes. My friends think it's a big risk, this whole business thing. My dad thinks I shouldn't be doing it because it would distract me from my studies. Well he was right, so I might stop this whole thing for a while. Mom said I can continue doing it a part time job, after I finish with studies.

10. Environmentalist.
Reason: It's like being a superhero, but realistically speaking. You save the environment, you save the world.
What happened: I wish I can do something that could give a big impact to the environment, like create a machine that would release a gas that could neutralize the harmful gas released by cars and factories. Or save the tuna fish and dolphins population from going extinct. Stuff like that. But I am not capable of such thing. Despite my incapability to do all that, I do small things, like forbidding people around me from littering, I tighten the tap when I see it being improperly closed and leaked, and switching off the plug when not using it. These things might look like nothing but well at least I'm doing something right?

There are a lot more, but I can't remember. So yea that's pretty much it. Go through the list again. See there's no Engineer in that list? Seriously speaking, I never wanted to be an engineer. I got the worst grade for Physics in SPM, I actually did better for Biology and Chemistry subjects yet my dad thinks it's a pretty brilliant idea to enrol me into engineering course. And so, that was the story behind how I end up doing that. Fulfilling my duty as a daughter to obey my parents and make them happy.

I've been doing some thinking lately, and I'm considering on continuing my studies after I finish with the current one. I think I wanna do the archaeology thingy. Totally unrelated to engineering.  I'm sure my dad's gonna go ballistic, flipping tables when he hears about this. haha. I have no intentions of telling him anytime soon.

Anyway this has been a long entry.

End.

Doodle Challenge : Day 7

When there's no class, I got no time to doodle

When there's class, I have all the time in the world to doodle

What is this madness?

Doodle Challenge : Day 6

"Yea. I'm the dinosaur who has cicakophobia."

So they say, you should not be a slave to your fear. So I decided to wipe off the cicak on my car windshield using the wipers. Yikes!

I'm A Man

I ain't got no time for lovin' 
Cause my time is all used up 
Just to sit around creatin' 
All that groovy kind of stuff.

Fuel Up

So fuel up your mind and fire up your heart and drive on
Drive on, drive on
And when your days are darker, put your foot down harder
Drive on, drive on.

Random thought #8 : Ghost in my mug

If only
I can tell you how my head hurts
my head hurts felt like it was pounded
pounded it was by 20kg imaginary pestle

If only
I can tell you how my shin hurts
my shins felt like it was kicked
kicked it was by 20 imaginary legs

If only
I can tell you how my arm hurts
my arms felt like it was twisted
twisted it was by 20 imaginary hands

Every nerve every fiber in me feels edgy
Jumpy, sweaty, farty, grumpy
Imaginary things has a way with your body
Making everything aches in every possible way
Does that gives you goosebumps
Just by thinking of imaginary things?

Random thought #7 : First day of school

Guten Morgen sweet potato fritter
Eat pancake with honey and butter
Cheek to cheek with kitty cat
Feed the tummy of giant fishy
Heart to heart with mama
Mind to mind with papa
Put on best dancing shoes
Goodbye mama
See you papa

D rive
R everse
P ark

Meet lecturer for efwhypee
Hi I'd like to work with you
Confirm?
Confirm.

Dance my way to class
Hello you're my teacher
I'm your student
Pen to paper with reinforced concrete
Take home work home
Freshen up
Pack up
Unpack up

Home is where the heart is
Pillow is where the head is
Listen to Michael Giachhino for lullaby
Gute Nacht monster with fangs

Liar liar, pants on fire.

Ustaz Dasuki kata pelaku dosa akan sentiasa berasa ketagih untuk melakukan dosa. Tak perlu tengok jauh, kita ambil contoh yang paling kecil, menipu. A lie would leads to another lie which would lead to another lie.

Cara nak menghalang ketagihan? Banyakkan beristighfar.

Something to do everyday;

At the end of everyday before you go to bed or after you do your Isyak prayer, spend a little time to reminisce on all the things you have done on that day. Think of all the bad things you have done and take that little time to ask for His forgiveness. Kadang-kadang benda macam ni nampak kecil dan remeh je pada mata kita, tapi besar pada pandangan Pencipta kita.

Sometimes, small things make the biggest difference.

Always be reminded, however big or small our sin(s) is/are, rahmat Allah tu luas. Selagi mana dia bagi kita bernafas, selagi tu kita diberi peluang untuk bertaubat.

:)

5 Years Time

In five years time I might not know you

In five years time we might not speak

In five years time we might not get along 

In five years time you might just prove me wrong

Doodle Challenge : Day 5

"You have brain in your head. You have feet in your shoes. 

You can steer yourself any direction you choose. " 

- Dr Seuss

Meh.

So Result Day is today. 

After countless refreshing/loading page of student info, at last I knew my results. MEH. It was, not too bad but really bad. bad but not too bad. Disappointed? Hell yeah I am. Who do I blame for this? No one but myself. :(

It is such a sad fact that I'm a sucker for distraction, totally dysfunctional when it comes to handling problems. And distractionsss were so freaking aplenty during last semester, so much time wasted mourning. Sigh. Darling cat went to kitty heaven, super badass midterms, dead boyfriend (eh?) what better timing they all had. nobody saw that coming huh? I should have studied in advance if I knew these things were going to come and chase me in July. I wish I had a time machine to fix everything. Luls, so much wishful thinking, stop that. :|

Oh well, like what John Mayer said, "Bad news never had good timing" Shit happens all the time, it's either now or later. So I try to accept the fact that maybe Allah has decided that last semester was the best timing to test me. Mak always reminds me that all things happen for a reason. So I'm sure You have better plans for me. :)

I've decided that I certainly am not, will not let those things and people drag me down for next sem. Weird enough I actually felt pretty stoked about starting the new sem. 1 day left! Such a rare feeling, to look forward to start classes and meeting people and fyp and stuff. Haha! Well thank you God for the slap on the face, figuratively.

All I can say is ..

Bring in all the shitz man, coz I'm gonna *study and do better this time! \o/

*hopefully this semangat lasts for more than 1 week. teehee.

Only Hope / Dare You To Move

When it feels like my dreams are so far,

Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again.

---

Everybody's watching you now, everybody waits for you now.

What happens next?

Fries in Cream

Do what makes you H-A-P-P-Y

never turn back, back, back

never come back, back, back

Doodle Challenge : Day Four

A clown name Oolong.

In Fluffyland there was a clown name Oolong. His favourite number is 2. He parts his hair into two, going bald in the middle. Mr Oolong is always seen holding two irregular-shaped balloon, while strolling through Oodly Dot Park.

Mr Oolong has a girlfriend, Darjeeling. She's so shy, no one has ever seen her face. What everyone knew about Darjeeling is that she has long purple hair and very long finger nails and she's always upside down.

Such an odd couple those two.

Javachip & Americano.

We've known each other for a long time, but I never knew your coffee preference. I texted you, asking about that. Your reply was, "Bout the kopi, we think about it nanti."

As I ponder upon the meaning of your text, I quickly went to the nearest coffee shop in Taipan. So many varieties up on the shelf. Decaf, flavored, dark & distinctive, rich & creamy. Tough choice, I end up choosing Mocha Java and prayed to God you'd like it.

---

I've never been to LCCT before, driving on my own would be sorta impossible plus my mum wouldn't let me. I asked my sister to take me there. She drove my dad's car, at a speed of 120km/h but still, I felt like the car is moving oh so slow. If only I could make the car go any faster, I would. Along the way, I made up conversations in my head to occupy myself. Thinking of questions to ask, stories to tell.

Got there by 5.30pm. I was late. You told me to wait in front of the coffee shop. So that was what you meant, we'd be having a cuppa coffee. I felt silly for being so stubborn, should've waited, I could have bought you your favourite coffee instead.

Ordered our drinks and then find ourselves a table. Q&A session. Awkward. You kept stirring your coffee. Cakap sikit, jawab sikit. You were serious, no smile no nothing. The tense, reminds me of being in a principal's office. Soon enough I ran out of questions. Sucked the hell out of my frap. More awkward silence. You came to the rescue when you started talking about your backpacking trips. Kapadokya, Beijing, Alexandria. They did sound like so much fun, you seemed so happy talking about it, I enjoyed listening to your stories.

Half an hour.

Finally managed to put a smile on that face. Molek sikit. haha. But too bad, it was short-lived as I had to go back to Subang already, so that would mean goodbye. I wished we had all the time in the world, but we don't.

Nevertheless it was the best half an hour of my life, catching up with you. At the end of the day, our brief talk inspired me to study harder, get good results for my own sake. I need that, a boost. So thank you :)

In all, yesterday certainly has left quite an impression on me.

---

Dark and strong. That's how you like your coffee. I'll keep it in mind for next time, if any.
So, see you again, maybe?

Andy

Meet me on the surface of Jupiter
We don't need no reason, just make it up
Bring your pen and paper and some time to think
Don't you leave a page 'til your out of ink

Hey Monday.

Wanting to do so much, but end up doing nothing. Does this sound familiar to you? Happens all the time with me.

1. Ice cream // No vanilla beans today.
2. Plushie // Still no confirmed design.
3. Doodle // Lost my pencil and paper.

I'll be productive soon.
Wait for me, Monday.

Boat & Bird

But you can skyrocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by

Lesson Number Twenty Two

My definition of happiness is ..

Eating rainbow Paddlepop icecream on a rainy day
Randomly dancing to this one particular song in FOS store
Drinking a cup of lychee rose flavored tea
Sitting on the floor, at a corner of a bookstore reading a good book

It is these little things (and some other things) in life that makes me happy.

To everyone else who is still searching for happiness, take it from Francois Lelord and me;
Lesson 22- Find that little things that keeps your heart feeling content, and just do it.

Brains win hearts too.

Frankly saying you are the oddest person I've ever known in my entire life.

Don't get me wrong. You are odd but in a good way. You're like a walking book or as modern people would put it, you're like Google or Wikipedia on-the-go.

I always wonder, how does one put econs, philosophy, food and music in one conversation. Well, I don't know. You're the first and most probably the only one that can do that. The things that you say never fail to amaze me.

No kidding.

That shows that you don't have to be a sweet talker to win people's heart.

All those talk about philosophy actually made me consider on taking philosophy for my elective subject. Funny because my brain doesn't exactly work like yours. Good thing I did not take that subject, or else I'd flunk. haha.

Anyway I always think you're the smartest person I've ever known. Still thinks so.

I don't think I've ever dedicated a whole entry for anyone else but you. I mean, minus stories about family, close to none. 4 years ago, I wrote about you. Now, I'm doing it again.

I'm sorry it took me 2 years to be telling you all this. That I never hated you, nor did I ever regret knowing you. I'm sorry I made you feel the other way round.

People grow up. Sometimes they stay the same. Sometimes they change for the worst. Sometimes they change for the better. I've learnt from my mistakes. May we both find morgenstern of our own someday. insyaAllah. :)

Fin.

Alas, I am free from the clutch of azignmentz! Freeeeedom smell so sweet. Need to grab some Freedom Fries while I'm at it. Fiu~

I'm Going To Stop Pretending That I Didn't Break Your Heart

And I'm a little too late, by three or four years.

Do you mind?

I don't think I can do the 1 day 1 doodle challenge. Apparently I do not have time to do that :/ But no worries, I will still do doodles and post them here whenever I have the time.

Regardless my final exams are done, I still have a pile of assignment to pass up -_-" Steel assignment is still on hold. To submit tomorrow. Say waaaaht?

Progress?

feeling-feeling engineer sikit. heh

Beams, columns, supports done. Andd the last time I checked, I only managed to get as far as putting the slabs on the structure. Plenty more stuff to do, like putting on loads and stuff but I don't know how to do it. Which made this whole thing so frustrating.

I wonder how people managed to do megastructures like KLCC or something of that sort, using that software. So much work to doooo waah do wa doo. So much patience, they have. If I were them, my laptop would end up with a big whole on the screen. Because I lack patience, so I just might as well punch it, "kasi bolosss sama dia!" bak kata Zizan dalam gameshow Bolos.

I'm beginning to wonder if it is going to be a good idea, to take 'learning softwares' for my elective subject. I mean I do like it, but since I'm quite a slow learner, this subject might be kinda a pain in the bum.

Hah. Something to consider before naik sem nanti.

Skeleton Song

but skeleton you are my friend, and i could never bring your life to an end. yes skeleton, you are, you are my friend. and i will be there for you until the end.

Doodle Challenge : Day Three

She told me her name is Ella

I was on my way to Fluffyland when I saw this quirky flower. She introduced herself, she told me her name is Ella. For a flower, she had the curliest hair, I've ever seen. So I took her home and put her in a vase.

Doodle Challenge : Day Two

where the tame and odd things are

It was once known as Oddland. but the creatures there, as odd as they are, they weren't too fond of the name. Thus they changed it to Fluffyland. Regardless the name, not everything is fluffy there. 

Doodle Challenge : Day One

I dared myself to take the doodle challenge. One doodle per day, and post it over here.
So here's a doodle for today :D

 Hipster with a broken Hip

You've got growing up to do.

"A handbag is like a closet door to Narnia or to simply put it like a Doraemon's pocket. Looks like nothing on the outside but so many things to discover in the inside. "
-A wise saying from the not so wise dinosaur, A. Chan.

I used to think it's quite impractical to be walking around with a handbag. Yea lah. Too many zips, too many small compartments, too much fuss especially when you are trying to find that one thing you needed most. You can easily lose yourself or maybe find a bunny innit. So complicated. Plus, handbag kepit bawah ketiak. Minus points for that! Thus when everyone wears a handbag, I opt for a backpack. More convenient I can say.

I wear a backpack everywhere I go, no matter what the occasion. To the class, hang out with friends, going to the mall, etc etc. I feel comfortable that way and it has been like that for quite some time until.. now. Sekarang berasa pelik dan aneh dan pelik bila pakai backpack. Tengok member semua pun so womanly, made me feel ridiculous and so childlike. I feel like I have to conform to the society's expectation, that in order to look like an adult, one has to own a decent handbag.

Oh man. Can I just say I'm getting girly-er by day. So weirddd but senang cerita. Ni baru mukadimah pasal handbag, belum lagi pasal benda lain :s Actually to think that I actually wrote a whole essay on handbag is just .. wow.


seriously what is happening to me? :O

It's time for a holiholiholiday!

I'm a tough soldier, and I'm coming home soon.

The war between pen and paper, human brain versus questions are finally over. I am officially done with my exams. Quite nervous of the outcomes truthfully. I think I did quite badly but I hope not too bad that it'd spoil my results.

"Bismillahi tawakkal tu 'alallah. Wa lahaulawala quwwataillah billah hil'aliyyil 'azim"

Dah berusaha, jadi tawakkal je lah, dan doa sebanyak yang mungkin. Anyway, now that the examss are done, I now have time for myself. To list out some of the things that I might do during the 2weeks break;

1. Gain weight! Like seriously need to do this. Last time I checked I was 31kg. Aim for cuti ni, to weigh 35kg minimum and maximum. om nom nom spree it is! ^w^
2. Have to generate ideas for business to make it work work work, successfully. Advertisement? Rebranding? To really think of it, rasa macam lebih beria berniaga daripada ber-engineer. Har har, memang mintak kena libas dengan Abah.
3. Do sketches of plushie and make them jump out of paper. If rajin, sew these stuff. Hm, I remember owing Nana a plushie. :O
4. Go out more often! Go to interesting places, do interesting things, meet interesting people. So much to explore, if Mak let me. hewhew. But I think I'll end up spending time picking up kids from school, attending lectures dekat masjid.
5. Be more willing, more rajin to attend kelas ilmu dekat masjid. Jangan tunggu hati hitam, keras macam batu.
6. Ngorat people. eh? haha.

Just kidding. I think 5 things are already much stuff to keep me occupied during the holiday. Plus it's a short one, not much time to do stuff pun. Baru nak unpack, tengok-tengok dah in second week of holiday. I think it's gonna turn out that way. Haha

Oh well, I guess this is it for now. Planning planss. Much fun. now is time for bed, no time to waste after spending 2 weeks struggling in war. Every minute is preciouss *talks like a gollum in Lord of The Ring* ignore that bit.

So good night folks, this little soldier is going to zzz.

Bye!

Death is, inevitable.

To our dearest darling Foxy kitty,

I'm so sorry I did not spare more time to give you tummy rubs or pet your head. We love you a lot regardless how you are always biting our legs and arms to wake us up, regardless how you are always sitting on the newspaper while we were trying to read it. We loved you no matter what.

Please know that we will always remember you. Send our regards to Ciki, Tam, Oren and the anon bibis. Tell them we miss them every single day. We will not forget to send imaginary salmons to all of you kitties everyday.

Much love,
From Abah, Mak, Moira, Adlina, Alya, Aqilah, Afiqah, Izzat, Ariff, Faizul and Pedram.

Iron fist!

Seriously I feel like laughing at myself, and giving me a big punch on the ribs right now. The irony of it. Haha.

HAHA.

Pop a neuron.

I've always been a lazy thinker, I hate thinking. So many organs involved when you're thinking. The heart and the brain, it works simultaneously when you think, which later on leads to actions done by your hands legs eyes ears kidney, well everything lah. So yea basically to sum it all up, thinking exhausts me. Even to think of writing this makes me.. Malas cakap lah. Yes, you can say that I have a lazy brain. I don't mind a bit.

Lately that is all that I've been doing. Thinking. It's a weird thing how a lazy brain can do wonders, like think of the unthinkable. Good side of it, "congratulations! you have quite an imagination!" Down side of it, you'd be thinking of all sorts of things. You'll end up having to do the math, calculating all the possibilities for the scenario which you have in your head to happen in real life. Like imagining a boogeyman under your bed. You'd be scared shitless to even let your hands and legs hanging outside the bed compound.

So then, now tell me how does one feel safe from her own thoughts? I guess the only thing you can do is stop thinking.

Dream within a dream.

5.38am. 

I'm still awake. 

I have been spending all night long, wasting my time thinking about business while listening to Soko - Norah Jones - Elvis Presley - The Like - Oren Lavie. A good work of art must be able to keep you awake, and make you sleepy at the same time. 

And now, my brain finally tells me to shut up and sleep.

I'm going to bed. Now.

Death certainly has a way of knocking you conscious again.

Received news of death, of a friend who once studied in the same school as I was during my Form1-Form3 years. She was a 5th year medic student. On her way back to Uni in Russia, she was involved in an accident, among other few female friends. She didn't survive the tragedy, she died on the spot.

To hear such news is just beyond shocking.

.

A reminder to self, that life is short. We never know when's our time. Death doesn't wait. Our deadline could be today, could be tomorrow. Let us all work hard from now on, to achieve Jannah.

.

My condolences to her family and friends.

May Allah grant her eternal peace, and may her soul be placed among the pious.
Inalillahiwainalillahirajiun.
Al-Fatihah.

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes

So many sleep, so many naps lately. But even with so many of all that, yet I still feel tired. My body feels weak, my heart still panting, out of breathe from all the endless chasing game for the past few weeks. Maybe all this thinking about tales of the past, and the stories of future are the culprit behind my restlessness.

So many things to think, so many stuff to do.

I'm just so tired physically and emotionally. When will I ever get some peace of mind.

The dinosaur's cocoon.

I roar laughter, tears and anger in the form of words.

Lately I have been riding on an emotion roller coaster, causing me to roar a lot at the wrong place. Too much something is never good. I know some does feel uncomfortable by the things I said.

So it is now time to let it all out, here.

This will be a place for stories told by a fluffy hearted dinosaur.
This will be my safe house.